Thursday November To Do list with Seamus Heaney

Dear Mom

  • Wake up at 2.30 am. Again.
  • Flip the pillow to the cool side.
  • Fall asleep. Again.
  • Dream you’re in a long, dark room (a bar?) that’s crowded with people wearing grey overcoats.
  • Through the knot of grey,  see Seamus Heaney (not in grey).
  • Poke the shoulder of the person next to you and point out Seamus.
  • Get excited when your friend says she (? he?) knows Seamus and will bring him over to introduce you.
  • Dream there’s an explosion of some sort and the next thing everyone is in the street and Seamus is gone. No blood, no wreckage, no evidence of a bomb. Just no Seamus.
  • Wake up in the Thursday November darkness.
  • Blink in the bright bathroom light.
  • Brush teeth.
  • Feed the dog and cats and girl.
  • Wave goodbye to the man and the girl.
  • Think, “Now what? The bills?”
  • Spy the pan of brownies.
  • Shave a thin slice as if to even out the crooked cut line. This is a service. An act of straightening.  You should be thanked.
  • Strictly avoid the news.
  • Consider a nap.
  • Think about Seamus. Was he wearing a red coat like the little girl in “Shindler’s List”? Was he a sign? A warning?
  • Look at the brownie pan again.
  • Go outside to get logs.
  • Converse with the goats.
  • Start the fires.
  • Read reviews about smoke detectors.
  • Remember that no one can agree on internet reviews.
  • In an act of faith, order new versions of the same brand of smoke detectors you already have.
  • Check things off the list.
  • Add things you’ve already done to the list.
  • Check them off.
  • Consider a nap.
  • No really. Consider it. You didn’t sleep much last night.
  • Blame Seamus. Or the fact that you didn’t get to meet him.
  • Tell the dog to stop licking himself. Again.
  • Think about “The West Wing” as a political fairy tale.
  • Do bills.
  • Chuck more logs onto the fire.
  • Straighten the brownies out just a bit more.
  • Wonder where Seamus went when the explosion happened. Was he killed? Did he just leave through the back door? Did he set the explosion off?
  • Take a dreamless nap.
  • Avoid the radio.
  • See the note on the counter. The one the girl wrote before she could spell, that long ago.
  • Imagine time as a spiral, where you’re always in reach of the last loop, revisiting concentric circles of your moments, but each pass takes you just a little further from the last.
  • Admit you’re not fooling anyone about the brownies.
  • Apologize to the dog.
  • Wonder if time spirals intersect. When Seamus traveled his spiral, how close did his come to yours?
  • Make dinner.
  • Watch night come in.
  • Think about writing a poem.
  • Watch a movie.
  • Go to sleep.
  • Wake up at 2.30 am.

2 thoughts on “Thursday November To Do list with Seamus Heaney

  1. Interesting how some of my frustration?stress? dreams have to do with greyed-out people in a very busy situation. None of my people have faces in those dreams, and then someone turns and they have an identity but something happens and everyone is gone (used to always be my dad, who died when I was 20). I never got anything as interesting as an explosion, although after living in Israel in the mid ’70s, you would think that would be a feature!

    I hope your sleep patterns get better. Mine as well, I am usually up at 1:53 or 2:30…

    • That is interesting about stress dreams and greyed-out people. I don’t think I’ve ever dreamed an explosion before. I’ve been having the strangest, most intense dreams in the last coupe of weeks…

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