Today the sun was a moon, hazed by clouds into a full round I stared directly at as I drove into town.
The night in the day and the day ending at the sharp line of the night and the night lasting a day. Or so it seems.
Here we are at the crease of the year. As if in an origami fold, deep inside something that will become a delicate crane. In a valley where the only way out is up. In a well of dark with a lid of light.
Perversely, my favorite day of the year.
The only way forward is into the light, and I’ll greedily gather the coming seconds and minutes of daylight to stuff into my pockets.
I remember days and nights I never wanted to end, they were so filled with joy.
I remember days and nights I never wanted to end, they were so filled with sadness.
I remember nights that I wanted to drag over me like a thick, wool blanket.
I remember nights when I was a dark stair-sitting child, listening to the sparkling grownups a floor below, silently cloaked and wondering at the light they made.
I remember full moons that made the snowy field a morning.
I remember the faces of people I love with such detail, they are illuminated, even when they are long in the dark.
I forget all the things I forget. Voices. Teases. Misunderstandings. A last laugh, when laughing was still possible.
It’s a blessing to forget.
It’s a blessing to sit in this deep, long, dark night and know that everything behind is lit with love, everything ahead is lit with love, and everything I need is right here, right now, in the dark with me.